Well, duh, no one could come close to being Oprah, gurl!

We gave you the run-down about Lindsay Lohan's new OWN series Lindsay and all the must-see moments from last nights episode.

But there was one thing SERIOUSLY missing from the show…

Lindsay's bra!!

Seriously, does she even own one?

We'e pretty sure LiLo only kept her boobies in check during one part of the episode and even THEN they were all over the place!

It's pretty crazy!

Ch-ch-check out the the only missing piece of the otherwise perfectly cray series that is Lindsay…AFTER THE JUMP!!!

This is incredible news!!!

Cheryl Cole just inked a one-year $2.5 million deal to return to X Factor!!!!

She & Simon Cowell finally pushed aside their differences and came together for the betterment of the TV-watching world!!!

WOO-HOO!

The proud new papa is super stoked to have her judging again, too! Sources close to the situation confessed:

They don't care…THEY LOVE IT!

Miley Cyrus' demanding Bangerz Tour schedule isn't going to keep her from having some maJOR fun while out on the road!

The twerkalicious stunner was joined by her tour mates, Icona Pop, on Friday at Underground Nightclub in Chicago—following their intense and physically demanding concert!

One club-goer who spotted Smiley Miley revealed:

Vogue Italia has definitely not learned its lesson from past mistakes.

But maybe the mag doesn't view them as mistakes, otherwise why would they keep making the same ones over and over again?

The March issue of the magazine features white model Saskia de Brauw in what can only be described as some type of "tribal" face paint.

Inside the spread, the Dutch model poses with stuffed animals in clothing meant to mimic "tribal-style" dress, including warp skirts and turbans, except that instead of being made from animal hide, the clothing is Chanel and Celine!

We're thinking Vogue Italia was definitely going for another inspired-by-indigenous-cultures editorial, which is problematic in many ways, especially because it fetishizes native cultures, and appropriates them in order to construct an "edgy" fashion story while ignoring the history of imperialism and oppression that plagued those very places where Vogue's editors are now drawing inspiration from.

It's baffling how the fashion world just keeps on promoting such offensive and insensitive material over and over again.

When will they learn???

[Image via Steven Meisel/Vogue Italia]

I scream, you scream, we all scream BECAUSE THERE’S A NEW ICE CREAM CLEANSE!

If you were wary of juice cleanses because they lack food, then we have a solution for you.

Kippy’s Ice Cream Shop in El Lay offers a four-day raw, vegan ice cream cleanse! The $240 program gives you

But, but, but…Lindsay Lohan was supposed to be a big help to OWN!

We’re not sure WHAT is wrong with America to not watch last night’s big debut of Lindz’s show on Oprah Winfrey’s network, but these numbers don’t lie!

LiLo’s ratings were far from phenomenal!

The first episode of Lindsay earned only 693,000 viewers!

And while that’s the best unscripted premiere for the cable station in 2014, it’s not even close to their biggest show so far.

Lohan’s docu-series comes in third in the demo behind Iyanla: Fix My Life and Life with La Toya!

Oof. Beat by La Toya Jackson?

We’re not sure if that’s a great way to start. But OWN network prexy Erik Logan tried to put a positive spin on Lindsay’s first night, saying:

Whoa! Check out that bling!

Lorde has got the rumor mill turning when she emerged from her hotel room last week with a pretty big ring on THAT finger!

Which got everyone asking…did her boyfriend, James Lowe, pop the question?

Is she destined to be a teenage bride?

The answer is a resounding no.

Her rep said: